Growing From Afar

Someone told me that my relationship must be more practical than romantic.

Ummm...FALSE!

Seamus making my birthday special

Sure, we have to "logic" through things most couples don’t have to talk about until later on in their relationships, but we have our own way of making things romantic.

From the get go, we’ve been talking about marriage. I know, shocker that when someone across the globe says that he likes me we suddenly jump into the deep end of conversations: “Can you relocate? I don’t think I can...”

And BOOM -- talk about a let down when he said no. BUT -- here we are, six months later...still talking about marriage and relocating!

How does that work? A conversation topic that went from tearing a relationship apart and evolved into setting one up for a new beginning. It happened through growth and communication. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and that pushed us into a DEEP appreciation for the other person.

As you can tell, two talker-throughers make romance work after the foundation of friendship has been set. We had a bond that we both thought was worth nurturing, and we did. We found ways of compromising, and the more we grew in love, the more we grew in sacrifice. Now, HOW IS THAT NOT ROMANTIC?!

And what I did for his birthday...

For those of you that maybe feel more mundane than passionate in your relationship, I’ll let you in on our secrets for growth, because love and romance need to be continually cultivated.

1. Snail Mail- Apart from the fact that all my letters get to him late because I haven’t figured out exactly how long it takes my sweet nothings to get to his doorstep, this is our simple way of growing in love. I write him a letter while he is asleep and I’m missing him, I stick it in the cutest or most random card in the store, and I ship it off. He is always surprised and touched by the gesture which makes me stupid happy!

2. Instant messaging- It’s easy to share pictures of food, the song you were just listening that makes you think of your person, and that random thought no one else in the world would understand. It makes your partner feel closer to you while they are away. They may be nothings to you, but to them it’ll be a sweet sacrifice.

3. Sync up apps- Having a shared calendar, driving trackers, and voice recording apps help narrow the distance. You’re able to know each other’s schedule AND see where you both have free time to talk. Though it may feel stalkery, seeing when they leave or come home can help you gauge when you may need to head home yourself so that you two can have the most time together. And when you don’t have sit down time, impromtu voice messages are gold. You get to listen to the messages when you get a minute and they can record one back when they have one.

4. Walk together- get yourself on the phone and talk to your person as you’re walking around the neighborhood or favourite scenic place. You both get to exercise and clear your head together. And let’s face it, sometimes you just have to not be in front of a computer screen!

5. Make things spontaneous- Find silly quizzes and do them together. Dress up and eat the same meal as if you were on a date. Send each other little trinkets. PLAN to do something RANDOM. You spend so much time having to talk about timelines and dwell on distance. Just take a moment to be silly together--it makes a difference!

With all of that said, maybe we aren’t the most romantic couple on earth. But we are working on becoming one of them. Once you have that solid foundation of trust, love, and friendship, the romance follows. And it is LOVELY!